Dropping the ball.

Today I did not go the extra mile. I was on the way, literally, but my brain kicked in and told me not to. It wasn’t because I’m a bitch, it wasn’t because I was lazy, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to do it; it was because I actually couldn’t do it. Or, I could have but it would have cost me. Not money or time (although it actually would have) but it would have caused me to put that one extra thing on my plate that would have caused the plate to break or drop the ball using my very own juggling analogy. 

Roughly how I’m feeling – although i wish i looked this good in a sequined basque!
 
It wasn’t even a big thing but it was something that would have made a difference to an event I’m running. It would be a nice to have definitely, but after leaving work late after yet another busy day, picking up a tired daughter from nursery (last mum there again) and then picking up a crazy dog desperate for a walk I thought “what on earth am I doing”?  

I am in the middle of a really busy and high profile piece of work at the moment with tight deadlines and a lot of reputation all risk. This doesn’t all fall on me but I obviously don’t want to drop a ball there.  
I am trying to decorate and renovate a house (luckily with help from family and friends) in time to move in by the end of September and also trying to sell a shared ownership flat which seems to be a process not unlike wading through treacle.  

I’m trying to coordinate an exciting event that the Wellbeing Group, of which I am the main driver, has organised which is tomorrow.

I’m trying to be a good mum to Charlotte which involves not being the last mum to pick up their child every day and having time, and the energy to spend quality time with her when we get home.

I’m trying to be a good friend, especially to my best friend who is getting married in a week and a half!  I am trying to keep on top of the housework and I am trying to take some time for myself.

But trying isn’t good enough for these.  I want to be actually able to succeed in all of these but something had to give this evening so I didn’t do something.  The world won’t fall apart from it.  The event will still run tomorrow.  My colleagues won’t know what I haven’t done but my daughter has had time with me and I have had time to decompress a little from an, already, very busy week. 

Sometimes we have to put things in perspective and driving out of my drive this evening was a ‘click’ moment.  I drove up the road, turned around at the roundabout and came home again.  Doing this extra thing would be good for the wellbeing event but not for my wellbeing and I suppose I should lead by example.  

It’s not selfishness to put yourself as number one sometimes – it’s essential and I’m glad I remembered that this evening – just in time! I urge everyone to take at least 30 mins to prioritise yourself this evening, it can make such a difference! Happy hump day xx