All shapes and sizes! 

My new job, although in the same office as my last, seems to have a much smarter dress code than before and I was starting to feel a bit of a scruffy arse. I used to be able to rock in in my ‘skinny’ jeans and a smartish top with flats and no one would bat an eyelid but now I am surrounded by suits, ties, smart dresses, cigarette pants and pencil skirts. So, with my new pay cheque I thought I should upgrade my currently very downgrade work wardrobe, however after a demoralising second weekend spent shopping for suitable work trousers, I have come to the conclusion that my bottom half is (at the moment) a size 15 and my top is a size 13 (despite being an hourglass shape) and that skirts and dresses are the only way forward. 


The one and only day i wore Spanx to work. Never again.
I have now tried all the shops in our local retail park and can no longer blame that one shop that has entirely different sizing to the rest of the word *cough, H&M, cough*. The size 14 trousers will go on and fit perfectly round my bottom (snug yet not showing all crevices, ouch!) but the hook and/or button will just not reach together and if it just does it creates the evil spill over, otherwise known as every mums enemy…The Muffin Top. But the size 16 left me with a saggy arse and lots of material in the thigh/crotch region. This, I have found, is not a good look.  

So the dreaded summer diet is now in effect. It is not, however a diet in the normal terms of the word, as I don’t believe in them. It’s back to the meal plans, fruit and veg lifestyle that I once had sorted. It’s about taking lunches into work rather than eating canteen food which seems to only have a ‘with cheese’ option. It’s about cutting down on the crappy carbs and substituting for ‘slow release’ whole foods. It’s mainly about organising myself so I’m not grabbing the takeaway menu or the frozen pizza out of the freezer.  

Probably shouldnt follow the wise words of my pjs either.
So watch this space…this time last year I was a size 13 bottom though so it would seem I’m never going to win…unless I open an odd sizing shop…maybe call it OddBods or something. Any takers?? 

What not to wear.

Those of you who follow my Facebook page (hint hint 😉) would have seen that, last week, I attempted a bit more of a chic Sunday casual ‘mummy at the playground’ look than previously. However I have also realised that I have no idea what I want to look like and how best to present myself anymore. Every now and again I have the right combination of clothes clean and ironed so I can look vaguely put together but sometimes I am down to my granny pants, saggy jumper and jeans and there’s just no way to make that look good.

I know I have an hour glass shape which Gok and Trinny and Susannah and anymore recent fashion guru’s say I am lucky to have but unless I want to wear spanx, pencil skirts and high heels all day everyday (not particularly practical for the nursery pick up) I don’t know how to venture out of the house in anything other than a t-shirt and jeans combo.

I am also fretting over the recent change in season as, since last October, I have lost some weight (yay!) which means all my autumnal wardrobe is too big and I have zero £’s and zero pence to buy anything new (boo). My favourite, fail safe dress now hangs in all the wrong places, my work trousers now have saggy bums at a time when I’m more happy to show mine off and my tops seem to have been manipulated by the washing machine gremlins so that they are all either too short, adorned with random little holes or after a six months of being packed away in the vacuum bag I am now thinking why on earth I bought/wore it in the first place! I have now done the full swap over and all the pretty, colourful summer stuff is stashed away and I am left with a paltry offering of greys, browns, khakis (I honestly don’t remember buying anything khaki!) and dreary colours to match my Seasonal Affective Disorder mood. Going to be a cheerful few months, I can tell!


Shop till you drop…or scream at someone!

Today’s outing to Tesco has just galvanised my want, no…NEED, to work part time.

I have taken a days leave as ‘grandma nursery’ was not available so Charlotte and I decided to get our mega shop done. And we managed it…easily and with no tantrums from either one of us! I remembered my list, therefore probably won’t have to go again for a while and I even remembered my bags for life!

Compare this to my fraught trips out in a Saturday morning or my ‘quick’ dashes to pick up tea after a long day at work and a long day at nursery for my daughter and it seems a kin to spending an hour in a spa. Calm, productive, serene. I actually feel a bit like those mums you see who just seem to have their shit together. I now know their secret…they don’t work – or three days at the very most!

I’m sure my trolley was even full of more sensible options rather than the ‘grab anything so we can get the hell out of here’ type convenience foods that I normally end up purchasing. I also think I have saved money as I had the opportunity to look at what was best value, peruse the ingredients to see if there’s any difference between the basic range and mid range apart from packaging (usually not) and…drum roll please…I actually had coupons! In date, useful coupons!

So in conclusion, what I would loose on dropping a day of work I’m sure I could make up in savings by not constantly panic buying…well that’s what I’m hoping anyway! I would also save myself some wrinkles I’m sure!

You never know, if I worked part time, I might even be able to place an online order before I run out of everything so someone can pick, pack and carry it up my stairs too! One can dream!


Single Parent Pessimist