An alternative Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day everyone, or Mothering Sunday if you’re the traditional type! I hope you’ve all managed to get a lie in (what that means with the clocks going forward I don’t actually know), some version of breakfast in bed and have been presented with multiple homemade cards and presents. 

This year I’m definitely getting a lie in as I don’t actually have Charlotte for most of the day. 

I heard the shocked gasps then but it’s ok, I  promise.

My ex and I have Charlotte alternate weekends (with me doing the bits in the middle too) and this year Mother’s Day fell on ‘his’ weekend.  I didn’t realise until quite late on in the proceedings and wondered if I should attempt to barter to keep her for myself or shorten his weekend with her so I could see her. But then I thought… 

What does Mother’s Day mean for me? 

…and thinking about it, for me as a mum it doesn’t mean very much right now.

The first Mother’s Day after I split with my ex I had three cards from friends and family and multiple presents and flowers. It was nice as I wasn’t expecting anything, especially as my ex and I were not in good terms, but the past two Mother’s Day’s have just been a bit, well, depressing. 

Mother’s Day isn’t just about Mother and Child bonding. It’s meant to be a full family experience and I remember it so fondly from when I was younger. The Father is meant to take the child(ren) out to carefully curate the best present/card combo. The breakfast is made with help from the Father so no fires ensue or coffee isn’t spilt down the stairs. The Sunday Lunch is a full family affair whether out or in but, for better or worse, that’s not how it works in our little family of two. 

Crazy curly haired lady!

But I realised that, where we are now, I don’t need presents or a soppy Hallmark cards from Charlotte. I definitely don’t want presents brought begrudgingly by my ex. It melts my heart when she brings me a drawing home from school with a lady with crazy hair in the middle surrounded by hearts and flowers and says ‘I made this for you mummy’, but I am lucky that they happen every week for me, not just on one day of the year. 

I don’t need a lie in because I generally get one every other weekend and, believe me, I usually make the most of it. I know I have got it good compared to a lot of mum’s in that respect so I take full advantage! 

Last years attempt at breakfast in bed – the wine wasnt part of it, promise!

I don’t need breakfast in bed. She’s five. That would be a disaster and I’d have to go downstairs to find out what the crash was and supervise at some point therefore defeating the point entirely.

Our day trip to London last summer
I do, however, need quality time with my daughter. Like playing a new card game with her that her grandma taught her, and listening to her cackle when she’s on a winning streak. Like having tickle fights on lazy Sunday mornings. Like going on road trips to see something a bit different or Film Night Fridays with pizza and a movie. Like cuddling up in bed every evening and reading books. Just the two of us. 

And I realised that I am ridiculously lucky that I get that most days of the year, not just the one. 

So Charlotte can have her Daddy weekend because she needs and wants quality time with him too, and we’ll just pick up where we left off when she gets back. 

NB: I also know I definitely have two homemade cards hiding in various conspicuous places, so all is not lost.

The boring bits.

I was talking to a friend at the weekend who was mortified that he’d put on a load of washing on a Saturday night. I however thought this was a perfectly normal thing to do. I have had so many Friday and Saturday nights in over the last few years if I’m not going to get on top (or at least climb a few feet up) of the mountain if housework to be done then what is there to do?

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It was my childfree weekend this weekend and the full spring clean fever kicked in so I have blitzed my living room and dining room (with help from my mother) and I have also taken on the exciting task of defrosting my freezer.

It had got to the point were the doors weren’t shutting and I had to push something in and shut the door in quick succession in case it lept out before the door shut. I also knew there was a bevy of meals I’d bulk cooked and frozen only to find out it didn’t taste that great in the first place that I could definitely get rid of. I also used an amazing tip of using your hairdryer to defrost the ice!

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Granted it was like a scene from Ice Age in the back so still took an age but definitely better than endless bowls of hot water and a spatula chipping away whilst kneeling in a ever growing pool of water (tell me it’s not just me!!)

I also asked a question on my personal Facebook page as to whether my ‘friends’ thought I should get a dishwasher or not. And oh my goodness! I never knew my friends cared so much about an electrical appliance!! It was like I’d opened up a debate about capital punishment or breastfeeding in public or parents who don’t vaccinate their kids. Some were pro, some were against, some wrote yes or no, some wrote an essay but bizarrely some were vehemently against…so much so that they started slagging of my real friends who had posted a pro comment. I mean really?

I felt a little bit bad for causing such a drama on a Sunday morning, especially as I’d pretty much decided it was finally time to replace my one which broke and was removed over a year ago. As many of my friends said…life is too short for washing up.

Life is also too short for having Facebook friends who I don’t actually like in person.