The three dates of Christmas

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As the festive season approached and all the happy couples and families started upping the amount of PDAs they thought was appropriate, I decided that maybe a little hiatus on my “I don’t need a man” mantra would do me some good and downloaded my match.com and Plenty of Fish apps again (yes, I now have a POF account too!) and it seemed that everyone else had had the same idea too.

It was busy, there were winks, emails, IM’s, ‘meet me’s popping up on my phone all the time. Apparently everyone wanted a date for Christmas this year and I have to say it did make me feel good that they maybe wanted it to be me. Ok, so most emails were just “hi” (original) or “I see you like going to the cinema, did you watch the last Hobbit film”(run!) or various festive themed lines…”I’d like to see you in stockings at the end of my bed” or “can you suck on my candy cane” or “I hope you’re under my tree with just a bow tied around you” (You’ve got to give them credit…they’d obviously thought about those ones a lot!) but obviously my new Christmas jumper profile pic was doing the trick! Even more confidence boosting as I have no make up on and it’s day old hair…the joys of Instagram hey?

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So after working out who were the fake profiles, who were going to send me photos of their genitals within seconds of me giving them my number and who was likely to turn into a stalker and blocking them or ignoring them I managed to end up chatting to five guys. A range of ages, a range of looks, a range of occupations and a range of locations. This was difficult as I had to remember which conversations I’d had with whom but all seemed nice and I didn’t want to narrow my options too soon and to be honest what else was I going to do in the evenings in the run up to Christmas apart from gorge myself on mince pies and cry.

Over the holidays I went on three dates with three seperate guys and thought I would share a little of each with you over the next few days so stay tuned.

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Sending out a signal.

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I think blokes must have a radar that picks up when a woman is feeling slightly lonely and vulnerable, either that or I accidentally sent out my version of a bat signal!

I had pretty much cooled off any conversations with other men whilst trying to work out what was happening between me and my ‘friend’ who we’ll call Mr M for now (or knobhead depending on what mood I’m in!) but once I’d found out he was a complete an utter knob with no knob and I needed to move on and get the hell away from moping about him, messages started coming in. One may have been because I popped on to match.com again to see whether there were any new faces (FYI there weren’t) and I got spotted online by a previous date, but I have had three other men from dates past contact me and I have no idea how their timing is so impeccable! I am, however, being strong and trying to remember why we only had a couple of dates the first time round. See, learning from my mistakes already!

The best timing has to be the Facebook friend request I got from someone I worked with 9 years ago! He was 16 at the time and I was 21!! After a bit of a catch up and chat he confessed he had seen me on tinder and thought he’d get in touch! He said he had always fancied me and remembered the time I’d (probably drunkenly) told him that “if he was older..”!! He used to play rugby at 16 and had always been good looking and a bit charming but 9 years on he had a bit of cheekiness to his repertoire as well. I did keep thinking “you’re 16!!!” as we chatted but he isn’t – he’s a very hot, rugby playing 25 year old. Now what stupid woman wouldn’t investigate the potential there!? In fact I can’t think of a better antidote to knobhead than that!

Getting back in the game.

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One of the many reasons I decided to start a blog was because I stepped into the completely unknown world of Internet dating in March and there is just way too much material out there to keep to myself!!!

I dutifully signed up to match.com after a weekend away with my best friend and a fair amount of peer pressure. I was definitely ready to start meeting new people but it was just so alien to me! So after writing and re-writing my profile and having it proof read by a small group of trusted friends, I paid my membership fee and joined the game…and do you know what it’s actually quite fun! It took a while for me to get used to the whole ‘winking’ thing (I am still yet to wink at anyone!) and the excitement of seeing someone looking at your profile and the disappointment when you don’t get a wink or email, but at the very least I have managed to have some intelligent, interesting, adult conversations with the opposite sex which, to be completely honest, has not happened for a very long time. Even whilst still in my marriage. You quickly get used to laughing at the ‘your boobs looks great’ emails and if nothing else, it’s a boost to the self esteem which can never hurt 😉

Still no long term loves have appeared – I’m not sure I’m actually ready for that bit yet, but so far I’ve been on dates with a Spanish doctor (sexy and talkative and a gentleman – a good one to start with), a political advisor (older and desperate to settle down), a short guy (with definite short man syndrome – hot though!) a tall guy (lots in common but just no spark), a car salesman (who talked a good talk, as you can imagine) and many long conversations via email that never ended up turning into a date. But I guess this is what ‘me time’ is all about, trying to find out what works for me and who I am again, after 10 years of being someone’s girlfriend, fiancé and wife. It’s actually been quite a fun journey so far…

As for tinder…well that deserves a post ALL of its own!!! 🙂