This morning I have, so far, done two loads of washing and hung them out, cleaned my bathroom, unblocked a u-pipe (or whatever it’s called), been adorned with stickers, watched crap kids programmes and had the obligatory morning argument with Charlotte.
Despite all this I really do live for my weekends at the moment and this one is no different.
I’ve had a pretty rubbish week. A scan which showed I have gallstones (even though that wasn’t actually what they were looking for), a hot and sweaty trip down to London, a horrendous pain in my abdomen that has lasted three days and counting, which apparently has something to do with the aforementioned gallstones. Work is just awful at the moment. We’ve had tantrums every evening either due to over tiredness or the heat and I’ve also been messed around by yet another sociopath. So yeah, it’s been emotional.
So I’m hoping this weekend is better.
Whether I have Charlotte or whether it’s one of my child free weekends I’m determined to make the most of them so after a bit more tidying up we’re off out to find a gluten free and now low fat/no fat lunch and then heading to a street party in the heart of Warwick. Then dinner with a friend.
I will not let one shit week crush me but if next week could be better, that’d be great!
Also I’m starting Blurt Foundation’s #365daysofselfcare challenge as I know I’m rubbish at looking after myself and it’s becoming apparent I need to for my health and sanity! Come and join in with me on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
I’m starting to wonder whether there is a gardening gene that didn’t get passed on to me??
My parents definitely have it. Dad more so that mum, but I think it may have been a recessive gene. Fought off by the ‘love of magazines’ gene or the ‘gift wrapping’ gene.
This is the first spring I’ve had a garden and at first glance I love it! I’m currently sitting on the patio drinking my morning coffee (Hope the neighbours don’t mind seeing me in my dressing gown!). But did you know that gardens need work doing to them?
The grass needs to be mowed on a bi-daily basis from what I can gather, if you don’t want it to suddenly look like a scene from the Jungle Book.
Things need taking up at specific times or putting in at specific times.
Bushes need pruning (I giggled to myself then 😂).
Climbers need tying back
and to top it off I have to go on pooh patrol before venturing out as Sophie has not found a specific ‘spot’ yet for number 2’s and is obviously testing out every square foot of ground to see what feels best!
I have bought or been given all the tools for this ‘hobby’ (read full time job) and hoped I would turn into some green fingered, nature loving, ‘The Good Life’ type of woman but it has not yet happened. Is this one of those practice makes perfect type things? Because frankly, I haven’t got the time!
I AM debating painting my shed pink but I’m not quite sure that’s my top priority!
Well, I better get on with it, I stupidly organised a birthday BBQ for me next weekend and so far have no BBQ, no outside table to put the food on and no food to put on the hypothetical BBQ! Who says I take on too much!?!
Well, its official, my mind is a mess, my body is a mess, my house is a mess and my parenting style is a mess. I have been working long hours for a hellish project and it has taken its toll on every part of me. This week I’ve cried in the office over a very small thing, I’ve cried at home over big and small things. I’ve had a very poorly tummy (I will say no more on that right now), I’ve stared at my massive washing up pile every evening for the past four days but have not yet washed it up and I’m being a shit mum as all I want to do is come home and veg on the sofa when Charlotte wants me to play and we have eaten crap way too often recently (thank goodness nursery gives her real food).
I am apparently part time and have the salary that goes with it, yet I have also worked more than full time hours over the past few weeks and have been logging on at home in the evenings just to get stuff done. This is not a recipe for a happy, well-balanced life is it?
So I’m thinking about going to the doctors to be signed off for a bit after long and teary discussions with lots of my friends because I’m not sure I can do it anymore. But something is stopping me and I can’t quite figure out what. Pride, maybe. Stubbornness, maybe. Conscientiousness, maybe. Worried about the stigma, maybe. But I think it’s mainly down to the fact that, even though I know it’s utter bullshit, somewhere inside of me still seems to think I should be fucking Superwoman!! This fictional character who is able to deal with all areas of life effectively, all the time. Whose house is spotless. Whose children don’t have tantrums and do eat broccoli. Whose nails are perfectly manicured at all times and who can still hold down a full time job and keep up with the high stresses in her job. Single mum or not Superwoman has her shit together
Well being Superwoman and ‘having it all’ seems like a quick way into an early grave, so, as one of my friends said, I need to choose my priorities. Surprisingly work comes nowhere near the top of this list so I need to make sure it’s not at the top of my stress list either.
Nothing sucks more than being a single mum with a job and a poorly child.
Oh but wait, it sucks even more when you’re battling an evil cold yourself and you have deadlines looming for some pretty high profile work.
It sucks even more that you are run down as hell because you’ve been running yourself ragged for work for the past six months and not stopped.
It sucks even more that you have to choose between looking after your poorly child who just wants mummy cuddles or dropping her off with grandma so you can get to work and try and get some things crossed off the very long to do list.
It sucks that I changed to being a part-time working mum in the hope it would give me a better work-life balance, but it’s just ended up with me being paid less for trying to cram the same amount of work (maybe even more!) into four days rather than five.
It sucks that I constantly feel at least one step behind at work and one (or ten or twenty) steps behind at home.
I’m finally in my house. There has been blood, sweat and tears (literally) to get it to a live-able and sleep-able state but with help from som wonderful friends and mainly my parents I’m sitting in the living room, watching tv in my pjs whilst the dog sleeps next to me and Charlotte sleeps in her bright pink room upstairs.
Today I did not go the extra mile. I was on the way, literally, but my brain kicked in and told me not to. It wasn’t because I’m a bitch, it wasn’t because I was lazy, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to do it; it was because I actually couldn’t do it. Or, I could have but it would have cost me. Not money or time (although it actually would have) but it would have caused me to put that one extra thing on my plate that would have caused the plate to break or drop the ball using my very own juggling analogy.
It wasn’t even a big thing but it was something that would have made a difference to an event I’m running. It would be a nice to have definitely, but after leaving work late after yet another busy day, picking up a tired daughter from nursery (last mum there again) and then picking up a crazy dog desperate for a walk I thought “what on earth am I doing”?
I am in the middle of a really busy and high profile piece of work at the moment with tight deadlines and a lot of reputation all risk. This doesn’t all fall on me but I obviously don’t want to drop a ball there.
I am trying to decorate and renovate a house (luckily with help from family and friends) in time to move in by the end of September and also trying to sell a shared ownership flat which seems to be a process not unlike wading through treacle.
I’m trying to coordinate an exciting event that the Wellbeing Group, of which I am the main driver, has organised which is tomorrow.
I’m trying to be a good mum to Charlotte which involves not being the last mum to pick up their child every day and having time, and the energy to spend quality time with her when we get home.
I’m trying to be a good friend, especially to my best friend who is getting married in a week and a half! I am trying to keep on top of the housework and I am trying to take some time for myself.
But trying isn’t good enough for these. I want to be actually able to succeed in all of these but something had to give this evening so I didn’t do something. The world won’t fall apart from it. The event will still run tomorrow. My colleagues won’t know what I haven’t done but my daughter has had time with me and I have had time to decompress a little from an, already, very busy week.
Sometimes we have to put things in perspective and driving out of my drive this evening was a ‘click’ moment. I drove up the road, turned around at the roundabout and came home again. Doing this extra thing would be good for the wellbeing event but not for my wellbeing and I suppose I should lead by example.
It’s not selfishness to put yourself as number one sometimes – it’s essential and I’m glad I remembered that this evening – just in time! I urge everyone to take at least 30 mins to prioritise yourself this evening, it can make such a difference! Happy hump day xx
One of my friends from work writes a fantastic and uplifting blog and she manages it every day, she is inspirational so you should go and read it! But…reading hers does make me feel pretty damn lazy and ashamed that it’s now been two weeks with no new posts. I’m kind of hope that you all have busy lives as well and understand when I go quiet for a few days!
I have started a few posts over the past week or so but I really wonder who wants to read about the weather (other than me telling you that my recent post must have worked because the sun’s come out!), or my new carpets (which look awesome) or the fact that there is no news on my new house and that work is busy, but I guess this is life.
Sometimes it’s just all pretty normal and mundane but, sometimes, that is quite nice. No craziness, no dramas (well not many anyway), no major worries around which gives me the ability to appreciate the quiet times and my time with Charlotte. I like my job, I’m moving house at some point and I’m generally happy so can’t complain really!
Please let me know what ‘mundane’ things make you happy in the comments below, so I don’t feel quite so boring! 😄
My new job, although in the same office as my last, seems to have a much smarter dress code than before and I was starting to feel a bit of a scruffy arse. I used to be able to rock in in my ‘skinny’ jeans and a smartish top with flats and no one would bat an eyelid but now I am surrounded by suits, ties, smart dresses, cigarette pants and pencil skirts. So, with my new pay cheque I thought I should upgrade my currently very downgrade work wardrobe, however after a demoralising second weekend spent shopping for suitable work trousers, I have come to the conclusion that my bottom half is (at the moment) a size 15 and my top is a size 13 (despite being an hourglass shape) and that skirts and dresses are the only way forward.
I have now tried all the shops in our local retail park and can no longer blame that one shop that has entirely different sizing to the rest of the word *cough, H&M, cough*. The size 14 trousers will go on and fit perfectly round my bottom (snug yet not showing all crevices, ouch!) but the hook and/or button will just not reach together and if it just does it creates the evil spill over, otherwise known as every mums enemy…The Muffin Top. But the size 16 left me with a saggy arse and lots of material in the thigh/crotch region. This, I have found, is not a good look.
So the dreaded summer diet is now in effect. It is not, however a diet in the normal terms of the word, as I don’t believe in them. It’s back to the meal plans, fruit and veg lifestyle that I once had sorted. It’s about taking lunches into work rather than eating canteen food which seems to only have a ‘with cheese’ option. It’s about cutting down on the crappy carbs and substituting for ‘slow release’ whole foods. It’s mainly about organising myself so I’m not grabbing the takeaway menu or the frozen pizza out of the freezer.
So watch this space…this time last year I was a size 13 bottom though so it would seem I’m never going to win…unless I open an odd sizing shop…maybe call it OddBods or something. Any takers??
I was talking to a friend at the weekend who was mortified that he’d put on a load of washing on a Saturday night. I however thought this was a perfectly normal thing to do. I have had so many Friday and Saturday nights in over the last few years if I’m not going to get on top (or at least climb a few feet up) of the mountain if housework to be done then what is there to do?
It was my childfree weekend this weekend and the full spring clean fever kicked in so I have blitzed my living room and dining room (with help from my mother) and I have also taken on the exciting task of defrosting my freezer.
It had got to the point were the doors weren’t shutting and I had to push something in and shut the door in quick succession in case it lept out before the door shut. I also knew there was a bevy of meals I’d bulk cooked and frozen only to find out it didn’t taste that great in the first place that I could definitely get rid of. I also used an amazing tip of using your hairdryer to defrost the ice!
Granted it was like a scene from Ice Age in the back so still took an age but definitely better than endless bowls of hot water and a spatula chipping away whilst kneeling in a ever growing pool of water (tell me it’s not just me!!)
I also asked a question on my personal Facebook page as to whether my ‘friends’ thought I should get a dishwasher or not. And oh my goodness! I never knew my friends cared so much about an electrical appliance!! It was like I’d opened up a debate about capital punishment or breastfeeding in public or parents who don’t vaccinate their kids. Some were pro, some were against, some wrote yes or no, some wrote an essay but bizarrely some were vehemently against…so much so that they started slagging of my real friends who had posted a pro comment. I mean really?
I felt a little bit bad for causing such a drama on a Sunday morning, especially as I’d pretty much decided it was finally time to replace my one which broke and was removed over a year ago. As many of my friends said…life is too short for washing up.
Life is also too short for having Facebook friends who I don’t actually like in person.
Well that was odd, I went a bit quiet for a bit. I either had writers block or too many things to write about and no time to write it. No time where I could just catch up. But now I shall, and what a couple of weeks it has been. Don’t worry, actually nothing horrendous has happened! In fact, if I was to measure it, it has been one of the much better couple of weeks in a very, very long time. There have been some odd moments too but it wouldn’t be my life it wasn’t punctuated with slightly bizarre things happening intermittently…
The good/amazing bits
🔸I applied for a new job and actually bloody got it! Different team, same building, more money – awesome!
🔸My brother and (now) wife got married and it was wonderful – Charlotte and I were bridesmaids and everything about the day was beautiful.
🔸I fit into my bridesmaid dress (granted there was Spanx involved but that’s not cheating, right?)
🔸My best friend found her wedding dress, and it’s gorgeous.
🔸My daughter has generally been going to bed at a reasonable time and sleeping through the night. Still in my bed for the majority but still bloody amazing! Jennie Harrison Sleep Deprived Mums Coach is a goddess!
🔸My parents suggested an amazing opportunity so I can finally move us into a house with some outdoor space.
🔸I have managed to empty my ironing basket (I would say sometimes it’s just the little things, but this pile was big)
🔸An old friend got in touch and I’m really glad he did.
The downright bizarre bits
🔹The interview for my job was over and done in 20 minutes. I thought it had gone quite well but after looking at the clock I thought I’d fluffed it! What can I say, it’s quality rather than quantity I guess.
🔹Four days before the wedding we found out that my mum (the mother of the groom) and the mother of the bride had bought EXACTLY the same dress. They are different shapes, they are different sizes and they live 90 miles apart but apparently the green dress with navy flowers had such a pull that both thought that was the dress for them. Cue frantic dress shopping two days before wedding. To be honest I think the second dress my mum got was 100% better but it was all a little tense for a while there.
🔹The photographer who shot (is that right?) my brothers wedding was EXACTLY the same photographer that shot my wedding. Slightly awkward but again, different people, different county but luckily still a lovely lady and some amazing photos!
So I’m starting to think that (if we discount all of January) 2015 rocks so far! I have so much to look forward to this year and it seems to be getting better by the week. Either that or I am learning a new, better way to deal with the crap times and not let them take over and spoil the good times. This is probably more true as I’ve just remembered that in these past weeks I have sprained my ankle, run out of petrol on a motorway and had yet another frustrating run in with my parents. But the sprain didn’t bruise and I recovered quickly and I realised how amazing my friends are in a crisis. (even the most unexpected ones). Whatever it is I hope it sticks around because I’m loving the feeling of hope that it all will get better…much, much better.
I hope you haven’t missed me too much and I hope you all had a great couple of weeks too. I shall leave you with my new mantra for life…